I'm An Oil Man

Underachieving is no fun.

Analyst’s expected big things from Exxon Mobile in the second quarter of 2008. Unfortunately, Exxon, the world’s largest publicly traded company, failed to meet analyst’s expectations, underachieving to the tune of $320 million. That’s three hundred and twenty million dollars. One quarter. What Exxon did manage to achieve in the second quarter, however, was $11.68 BILLION in profits, breaking their own record for biggest profit ever by a U.S. corporation. Three months at $90,000 a minute. Failures nonetheless, these good ‘ol boys from Texas couldn’t reach the $12 billion that was expected of them.

I hate to complain, as I know I have it very good compared to other people all over the world, but how this can continue to happen is incomprehensible to me (lack of energy regulations, Enron loopholes.) The voice of the consumer has been strangled, strategically silenced by a frightening marriage of Big Business and Government, storming down the aisle for a sanctuary of captive consumers who wear second-hand suits and stuff wedding cake in their pockets to take home with them. This shouldn’t happen, especially in America. “No Taxation Without Representation” was the battle cry in the mid-18^th century, when the seeds of a revolution were planted and growing rapidly.

What we need now is a 21^st Century revolution. I picture our version to be far less dramatic than what we might typically associate with revolution: informal mass mobilization, governments being overthrown, crowds of people yelling and cheering, buildings burning, CHAOS! No, no, ours will be digital. It will be endorsed by celebrities and conducted in a politically correct and civil manner. Our revolution will be waged to keep strip malls, Chili’s and convenience alive, but more importantly, to show ourselves, and the world, that we are capable of identifying the need for change and know how to achieve it.

Maybe every generation has something to complain about, maybe things are never that bad, I acknowledge that possibility. It just seems to me that we are at a very distinct, defined, incredibly important crossroads right now. I believe that electing Barack Obama President, this election, will be one of the greatest and most significant things to happen, politically at least, in the history of the world. I’m moving to Mexico or South America if we elect anybody else.

I was recently asked to play “Come Home Soon,” a song I starting writing when I found out The Enemy was coming home from his tour of duty in Iraq, at a party for another solider, a marine, who comes home in September. Aside from playing “Goodbye” for my Dad at his funeral, I think this will be the most emotional performance I’ve played to date. When Vanessa asked me if I’d do it, I immediately said yes, that’s not a “gig” I’d ever turn down. Though I might not agree with, and often speculate as to why we’re over there, our armed forces deserve more recognition, credit and admiration than we could ever give them.

So when I saw that “$12B quarter for Exxon” headline, I got to thinking about Dennis, happy he’s coming home in one piece, but saddened to know that there is a definite correlation between him and that headline. I wondered if there might be a way to work out a lifetime of free gasoline for our service men and women; I think it’s the least we can do.